Quirky Home Buyers Gifts

"I think you'll find this home has real storybook charm."

'What - the whole house is flooded? Great! I take it!'

"Not to mention the park view."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

Mortgages up 'Where?'

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

'Buy this house and get two wonderful neighbours!'

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

'The owners are prepared to accept any reasonable offer.'

'No windows. You wouldn't want windows in a town like this.'

"This model is priced higher, but it comes with glow-in-the-dark stars."

"It might have been smart to inquire about the tides before buying this seaside place"

'Good evening sir,I'm doing a survey on home security.'

'In return for storing the nuclear waste, we get a big break on the mortgage.'

"Did I mention the view?"

"This place, like the last one, has one big window that's also a door."

'How interesting, the subdivision's built on an empty mineshaft.'

Igloo For Sale: No Termites! NO Carpenter ants! NO fleas! No mice! No rats! Absolutely pest free!

Ugh! Professional Beggars

The little old lady who lived in a vacuum.

"One question: Do the windows open?"

The Movers Strip - Airport at the end of the garden.

"And this is where the murders took pl—... I mean, this is your bedroom."