Home Buyer Enthusiast Gifts

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

Real Estate Personals

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

Emigrating to France.

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

America's funniest investment scams

'This condo is the height of luxury, The sprinkler system sprays Perrier,'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."