Nervous New Mom Gifts

Apprehensive about leaving the baby with a sitter for the first time, Michelle scales back her romantic dinner with Al.

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Mother Nature

Whoa

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Trust

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'Ugh Not Again!'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Maternity tattoos

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

Maternity Hospital

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

Moms gone wild