Nervous New Mom T-Shirts

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Mother Nature

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Trust

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'Ugh Not Again!'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Maternity tattoos

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'The Fashionable Mamma, or The Convenience of Modern Dress'

Moms gone wild

Maternity Hospital

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out