New Moms T-Shirts

'I have a craving for sour pickles again.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

baby sweetcorn...

Interior design trends for parents....

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Late night teddy reading

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

A mother and baby elephant