New Mother T-Shirts

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

Rank: Everyone unconsciously desires to return to the womb.

'I was well-informed, well-adjusted, a useful member of society - then I married.'

Woman does yoga with a baby.

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

"Yes, I was up all night with the baby, but did I get any help?! Oh no, somehow, it's important that 'the lion sleeps tonight'!!"

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave - all of our other customers are lactose intolerant."

"Yeah, we give birth to live young, but this one is really lively: I'm exhausted!"

'They want to watch the baby do lunch.'

'Oh hi honey, did you get the baby mobile for over the crib?'

Mother and Baby wearing 'fat cow' and 'little bunny' t-shirts.

"Fetch a kitten instead."

Robot feeds baby robot oil.

'Excuse me Madam!!'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Revolting Meanness!

"Oh Officer, it's definitely essential driving. Do you know how hard it is for this kid to nap!?"

"Possums do get into the strangest places."

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

A young Don King

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Madonna of the Pukes.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'Ahhh...'