New Motherhood T-Shirts

Breastfeeding - "When it's my turn, can I use this?"

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"You might want to review the chapter on unconditional love."

Office worker with baby in drawer.

The death of Venus

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"I'm not surprised that lady's so fat. . . The baby's been blowing her up for hours."

"I think you need to wind him dear."

"Wet wipe?"

Jehovah's wet nurses

"You're overfeeding that baby."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Madonna of the Pukes.

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"She's been so creative lately."

A midwife holding a baby

Interior design trends for parents....

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.