Anxious Mom Gifts

Trust

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Baby on Board

Apprehensive about leaving the baby with a sitter for the first time, Michelle scales back her romantic dinner with Al.

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"They're from accounting, sir, they're not very verbal."

"Surely, checking the baby monitor doesn't count toward your screen time."

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

'When you have boys, you need 'presoak'.'

"And this will protect him from distemper."

"Enough about the pandemic, just tell me about your mother...."

A pet cage wrapped in chains make the other customers in the waiting room nervous,

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

'My husband won't be at the birth and, to be honest, he wasn't at the conception...'

"Your wife wants a report on your condition."

Baby Teething.

'Mom's really nervous because I've been good for too long.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

The pessimist and the paranoid

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

What's the latest on the school cyber-spying on students? Did the webcams show kids doing, um, bad stuff? What do you think? Slam! Maybe we could use a webcam! Personally? I'd rather not know what our kids are doing!

The Anxious School Drop Off

I have two teenagers that text!

Meredith Smits. Devoted wife, mother and worry wart. Did I leave the iron on?...

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."

Oh my God...My kid could be like that!!

"I fell down the stairs again."

"My mommy needs a 'scription, 'cause she said her boss is a pain in the. . ."

"No, I can't fix your child too."