Anxious Mom Pillows

Trust

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Baby on Board

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"They're from accounting, sir, they're not very verbal."

"Surely, checking the baby monitor doesn't count toward your screen time."

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

'When you have boys, you need 'presoak'.'

"And this will protect him from distemper."

"Enough about the pandemic, just tell me about your mother...."

A pet cage wrapped in chains make the other customers in the waiting room nervous,

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

'My husband won't be at the birth and, to be honest, he wasn't at the conception...'

"Your wife wants a report on your condition."

Baby Teething.

'Mom's really nervous because I've been good for too long.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

The pessimist and the paranoid

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

The Anxious School Drop Off

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

I have two teenagers that text!

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."

Oh my God...My kid could be like that!!

"My mommy needs a 'scription, 'cause she said her boss is a pain in the. . ."

"No, I can't fix your child too."

"Sorry we have to leave, but it is 8:30 and our 28 year old is home alone..."