Worried Mom Or Dad Pillows

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Trust

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

'Mom's really nervous because I've been good for too long.'

"Your wife wants a report on your condition."

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

'I appreciate your wanting me to do a stress test but what do you think I'm going through right now?'

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

The pessimist and the paranoid

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

I have two teenagers that text!

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

Uncertain Future

The Anxious School Drop Off

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'

"I just hope that's not our babysitter..."