Worried Moms Pillows

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Trust

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

'Come watch TV with me, Mom. This movie is for young and old.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

'When you have boys, you need 'presoak'.'

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

Career woman meets Family woman

Baby Teething.

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

"Your wife wants a report on your condition."

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

'Mom's really nervous because I've been good for too long.'

'I checked around and you're the only mommy that requires an appointment.'

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

The pessimist and the paranoid

The Anxious School Drop Off

Uncertain Future

I have two teenagers that text!