Worried Moms Pillows

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Trust

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

Apprehensive about leaving the baby with a sitter for the first time, Michelle scales back her romantic dinner with Al.

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

'Come watch TV with me, Mom. This movie is for young and old.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

'When you have boys, you need 'presoak'.'

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

Career woman meets Family woman

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

'I checked around and you're the only mommy that requires an appointment.'

"Your wife wants a report on your condition."

Baby Teething.

'Mom's really nervous because I've been good for too long.'

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

The pessimist and the paranoid

The Anxious School Drop Off

Meredith Smits. Devoted wife, mother and worry wart. Did I leave the iron on?...

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"