Anxious Parents Gifts

"Sorry we have to leave, but it is 8:30 and our 28 year old is home alone..."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Trust

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"But MOM, between school, homework, sports and music lessons, I don't have time for time-outs anymore!"

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"And this will protect him from distemper."

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

"Is your dog going to rip our heads off … I mean, friendly?"

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

A pet cage wrapped in chains make the other customers in the waiting room nervous,

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

'I appreciate your wanting me to do a stress test but what do you think I'm going through right now?'

"Your wife wants a report on your condition."

Push me! Mom! Well? I'm waiting! The Little Engine Whose Parents Did Everything For Him.

I used to run every day. But lately its just been a rack for my clothes.

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

I have two teenagers that text!

What's the latest on the school cyber-spying on students? Did the webcams show kids doing, um, bad stuff? What do you think? Slam! Maybe we could use a webcam! Personally? I'd rather not know what our kids are doing!

The Anxious School Drop Off

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

Uncertain Future

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'