Concerned Parents Gifts

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'

School Lunches and Childhood Obesity.

The AdRams Family no.14 - Filtering the internet for kids

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"My mom says you can sleep on the top bunk if your parents will sign a release form."

"Phew! It's only Saturday night fever."

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

'My mother signed my report card, but it got smudged by her tears.'

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

I have two teenagers that text!

The Anxious School Drop Off

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"

Uncertain Future

"We think it's important to meet the parents of our daughter's bad influences."

"I just hope that's not our babysitter..."