Worried Parent Supporter Gifts

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

"Here are all of my dependents."

Proud Mum.

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"Phew! It's only Saturday night fever."

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

"Oh yeah... well I say my kid is better at math and social studies than your kid!"

'I won't meet your demands for an allowance increase, so maybe you should become a free agent.'

"Your wife wants a report on your condition."

'There are two concerns I have. your son disturbs the class every day except Friday, and your son always cuts class on Friday.'

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

I have two teenagers that text!

And that, son, is why I don't let you play football.

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

'My mother signed my report card, but it got smudged by her tears.'

Uncertain Future

The Anxious School Drop Off

"Yes, it is an impressive collection. I was just wondering if you have any trophies which aren't from your Mum."

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'

"I just hope that's not our babysitter..."

School Lunches and Childhood Obesity.