Parent Supporter Gifts

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

"I thought it was a strike, Troy—but ask your mother."

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

Snacks for Learners

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

"Here are all of my dependents."

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

Proud Mum.

"Dad, when I leave high school, I want to get a job and help support the family."

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

'He's trying to put three kids through college.'

Thomas was brought up by his extended family

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

Parents teacher conference.

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

Solidarity with the family

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

Who'll fill in while your English teacher is on maternity leave? Probably and old-bag substitute. Teach English for a couple of months? I'd love to! Umm, nana? Aren't you too old to go back to teaching? Au contraire! They don't want anyone who could possibly get pregnant. Uh-oh. Age discrimination.

"My parents appreciate teachers, but me, not so much."

Congratulations on your PGCE.