Anxious Dads Gifts

"Your wife wants a report on your condition."

Parents' nightmare #23: their teenager behind the wheel of a self-driving car

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Trust

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

"My wife is about to have a baby, so I was wondering if you could make me work late for the next eighteen years or so."

"Well, I never! So this is where babies come from!!"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"It's an educational toy. Let HIM figure out how to assemble it!"

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

"Santa knows how little you know about technology, so he sent me to help you figure out how to use all the new devices you and your family got. I'm from his tech-support department."

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

What's the latest on the school cyber-spying on students? Did the webcams show kids doing, um, bad stuff? What do you think? Slam! Maybe we could use a webcam! Personally? I'd rather not know what our kids are doing!

"That password is somewhere in your brain. I think I know how to extract it."

The Anxious School Drop Off

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

I have two teenagers that text!

And that, son, is why I don't let you play football.

"No! Instagram was enough! I don't want to know about Tik Tok!"

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'

School Lunches and Childhood Obesity.

"Sorry we have to leave, but it is 8:30 and our 28 year old is home alone..."

The AdRams Family no.14 - Filtering the internet for kids

Can you believe we're old enough to have kids taking sex-ed? No! Thank heavens they have a curriculum with all the choices. Although

'Girls her age don't act like they're listening, but. . . they are. . . She knows what you expect of her, and she'll live up to that, more or less. . . C'mon. How much trouble can she get into?'

"Your mother tells me she caught you paying for porn and I'm very disappointed in you. . ."

Overprotection