Prison Life Commentator Gifts

'No need to come in... you can fax me your resume.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

When staffing agencies screw up.

Exhibition for Prisoners

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"The governor is considering your petition. He has one question: did you vote for him the last election?"

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'I was a computer executive -- but I performed an illegal operation and was shut down.'

'I was innocent until proven guilty, which took about fifteen minutes.'

'Credit crunch? Wassat then?'

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

'Look on the bright side. You haven't paid a penny in tax since you've been here.'

Convict Decor

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

"Try and give me... happy."

'It's for you.'

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

Martha bakes with her new friends.

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

'21 Today - he wants the key of the door...'

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

"If you include my first marriage I'm a three time loser."