Jailhouse Pundit Gifts

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

Shakespeare in the clink

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"The governor is considering your petition. He has one question: did you vote for him the last election?"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

'Look on the bright side. You haven't paid a penny in tax since you've been here.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I was innocent until proven guilty, which took about fifteen minutes.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'It's for you.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

At least you have security!

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

'For once in my life I told the truth. For this they gave me twenty years.'

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'