Prison Escape Gifts

"Lunch on Tuesday? I won't be free. How about Thursday week?"

"I was just getting a brick for my loo."

For use in case of wrongful arrest.

"Long story short, twenty minutes ago I wuz foolin' around on the prison computer... pressed the 'escape' key, and here I am!"

A vampire in a canoe.

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

"Yeah, hello travel agent, Danger Noodle needth getaway."

Life is simpler in the sticks.

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

"I wanted a balloon puppy, not a balloon vision of my sad corporate future."

"And, little by little, over the next ten minutes, he was able to dig his way to freedom."

Worker escapes his cubicle by climbing a beanstalk.

Sweet Jailbreak

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

"Goodbye prison, hello 24/7 work culture!"

"When I said you could have a summer vacation I didn't mean the whole summer."

Senior executive holding guitar hitchiking on open road in desert landscape.

"Carl! I thought I'd find you here."

"Everyone we know is escaping and you sit there doing nothing."

"I've had to leave the city: the noise pollution was making it difficult for me to fly safely..."

What have you been reading so intensely? A fast-paced thriller called Hooked. I love getting caught up in a book. I love the feeling of being lost in a world. In particular, I love escaping to someplace where you do not exist at all. This is an odd sort of book review. With a good book, I am free from you for hours.

'Will that be for here or to go - and if it's to go, can you take me with you?'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

Wilderness - City.

"Ah, its great to get away from the rat race!"

"And just the name alone: 'feral parakeets'... I mean, how cool is that?"

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

"Yes, yes, but it’s only an hour from Manhattan."

Desert Island Inmate

"Take this harmonica, son - it won't do me any good where you're going."

"Someday I'll buy a little place in the country and take my finger off the Zeitgeist."