Leaving Prison Gifts

'I get out in sixty days -- I guess I better update my resume.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Madoff and devil.

Police Lineup Escape

Prisoner Crossing

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Exhibition for Prisoners

Exposed and imprisoned.

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

Sweet Jailbreak

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Prison Wallpaper.

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'Try to think of it as early parole.'

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

Convict Decor

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."