Leaving Prison Gifts

'I get out in sixty days -- I guess I better update my resume.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Tic-tac-toe

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Madoff and devil.

Police Lineup Escape

Prisoner Crossing

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

Exhibition for Prisoners

Exposed and imprisoned.

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

Sweet Jailbreak

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Prison Wallpaper.

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'Try to think of it as early parole.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

Convict Decor

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."