Prison Release Gifts

"She wanted 'warm and fuzzy' so I wrapped her in a mink coat and set it on fire"

After 15 years Mike was released

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

'I'm making a note in my diary - you'll be out on the 5th of August 2040.'

'Wilson's back in the work force, and apparently not too humbled by his prison term.'

"Yeah, it's a real tough place to survive, but you'll find out next week when you're released."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Madoff and devil.

Prisoner Crossing

Police Lineup Escape

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Exposed and imprisoned.

Exhibition for Prisoners

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

Sweet Jailbreak

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"Carl! I thought I'd find you here."

'Try to think of it as early parole.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

"And just the name alone: 'feral parakeets'... I mean, how cool is that?"

Desert Island Inmate

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

Convict Decor