Parole Release Gifts

'This is a list of all the things you need to do around the house when you get your parole.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Minority Report

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"I got probation."

Exposed and imprisoned.

Exhibition for Prisoners

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

To Get Pardoned by Trump, Become a Celeb

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"Hello. . . I'm new in town. Do you know where the local police station is? - I need to sign in. . !"

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'Try to think of it as early parole.'

Freedom!

'Man, you are the first parole office to truly understand me.'

"Wanna join my hangouts circle?"

"This job involves travel? Let me call my parole officer and OK it with him."

On this date: Overly enthused and attending an NHL game en masse, the National Parole Board exceeds its mandate.

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"Pop-up prison."

Convict Decor

'I was a computer executive -- but I performed an illegal operation and was shut down.'

"Take this harmonica, son - it won't do me any good where you're going."

"I think I should be granted early release because the system is so underfunded."

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

'I'm not here for committing a crime - I'm here for failing to comply with a guideline.'

'Do you mind if I call my parole officer?'