Release From Prison Gifts

'The first thing I'm going to do when I get out of here is buy a brand new studebaker.'

"He promised to get a job when he get parole - so he's seeing how to get into the church."

"Actually, there were a number of messages while you were in prison."

WARDEN, ''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

"I'm out! A free man. Done my time. Paid my debt to society. Strike that off my bucket list."

"Getting out on parole is not a reason to have more than one dinner party."

"But I might get attacked by someone on a tagging order."

WARDEN, 'Good luck on the outside, Murdock -- be sure to visit our gift shop.'

WARDEN, 'Good luck on the outside, Murdock -- be sure to visit our gift shop.'

'Five years in that place. What on earth did you do with yourself in all that time.'

WARDEN, 'Good luck on the outside, Murdock -- be sure to visit our gift shop.'

'Any chance you could keep my cell for me? I'd only just got it how I wanted it...'

Man leaves prison and misses the bars so he buys bar wallpaper.

'Hi honey, I'm home.'

'They're letting you out on parole. But I've spent the last two years digging an escape tunnel.'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

Unaccustomed as I am to speaking in public...

'I get out next February, and I've completely forgotten where I parked the car!'

"It's no good you hiding, Whacker. Your release date's today and that's final!"

Spent 30 years in prison for a crime I didn't commit - please help.

'I get out in sixty days -- I guess I better update my resume.'

"Farewell - I don't have to stay here anymore - I'm rehabilitated."

'Just a few more years, Sally, and we can start that family we always wanted.'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I look at his recent work and I see a maturity that just wasn't there in his teen-age break-ins."

"While you were incarcerated."

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

Exposed and imprisoned.

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

Freedom!

"Why not become a prison officer when you're released, Dobson? We need 2,000 new prison officers; the government's keen to provide employment for ex-offenders plus you know the ropes."

"Take this harmonica, son - it won't do me any good where you're going."

'Yeah, but look at the money we saved by your acting as your own attorney.'

Two prisoners pull a Christmas cracker, the free gift is a hacksaw.