Released From Prison Gifts

"I consider myself fortunate. All the guys I grew up with are either dead or attorneys."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

"Why not become a prison officer when you're released, Dobson? We need 2,000 new prison officers; the government's keen to provide employment for ex-offenders plus you know the ropes."

After 15 years Mike was released

"He promised to get a job when he get parole - so he's seeing how to get into the church."

". . . You didn't have to pay for gas and electricity for five years! That's enough compensation, isn't it?"

"I shoulda' fucked every man I ever met."

WARDEN, 'Good luck on the outside, Murdock -- be sure to visit our gift shop.'

'Five years in that place. What on earth did you do with yourself in all that time.'

'Any chance you could keep my cell for me? I'd only just got it how I wanted it...'

'Hi honey, I'm home.'

'Wilson's back in the work force, and apparently not too humbled by his prison term.'

"Well, Judge. I trained to be a dentist whilst I was incarcerated. I've always wanted to thank you for that six year prison sentence."

"Farewell - I don't have to stay here anymore - I'm rehabilitated."

"Actually, there were a number of messages while you were in prison."

"Long story short, twenty minutes ago I wuz foolin' around on the prison computer... pressed the 'escape' key, and here I am!"

For use in case of wrongful arrest.

'I'm making a note in my diary - you'll be out on the 5th of August 2040.'

"I look at his recent work and I see a maturity that just wasn't there in his teen-age break-ins."

"But I might get attacked by someone on a tagging order."

STRIP Hambone: Prisoner visited by a computer

'Just a few more years, Sally, and we can start that family we always wanted.'

"These came in while you were incarcerated."

'Do you remember those idiots who told us we'd never escape prison? Haha!'

'They're letting you out on parole. But I've spent the last two years digging an escape tunnel.'

"It's no good you hiding, Whacker. Your release date's today and that's final!"

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

Unaccustomed as I am to speaking in public...

'I started out writing ransom notes, then switched to escape fiction while in prison.'