Post-incarceration Gifts

"Why not become a prison officer when you're released, Dobson? We need 2,000 new prison officers; the government's keen to provide employment for ex-offenders plus you know the ropes."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Exhibition for Prisoners

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"The governor is considering your petition. He has one question: did you vote for him the last election?"

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

'I was a computer executive -- but I performed an illegal operation and was shut down.'

"Wanna join my hangouts circle?"

"Prose & Cons."

Convict Decor

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'Yeah, but look at the money we saved by your acting as your own attorney.'

"He promised to get a job when he get parole - so he's seeing how to get into the church."

After 15 years Mike was released

". . . You didn't have to pay for gas and electricity for five years! That's enough compensation, isn't it?"

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

"Farewell - I don't have to stay here anymore - I'm rehabilitated."

'Hi honey, I'm home.'

WARDEN, 'Good luck on the outside, Murdock -- be sure to visit our gift shop.'

'Any chance you could keep my cell for me? I'd only just got it how I wanted it...'

"Stop playing hard to get, Giles."

'Five years in that place. What on earth did you do with yourself in all that time.'