Story Of Incarceration Gifts

'Have I failed so as a mother, Robert?'

Tic-tac-toe

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

"The governor is considering your petition. He has one question: did you vote for him the last election?"

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prison Wallpaper.

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'This place is perfect for me. I was convicted of being a serial time-killer.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"Can you hear me now?"

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

"I know how some actors feel. I can't stand to watch myself on security camera tapes."

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

'I had the cops all bribed, but I completely forgot about the stupid superheroes!'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

Seven years in jail is enough time to write a book about it.

"Stop playing hard to get, Giles."

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

"Hey, this reminds me of camp when I was a kid! I won't bore you with all the stories! Well, ok. . . there was this one time. . ."

I.O.U. 10 YEARS

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

"As an ex-priest, I'm having a hard time adjusting to these noncathedral ceilings."