Prison Tales Gifts

'Why, you no-good bum! -- You just sprained my wrist!'

'I blew it when I sent in 15 percent of my loot as Social Security payments.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'Let's get a kitty.'

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

Prison Wallpaper.

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

In The Bastille

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

"Stay! Do not chase us! Staaay! Staaay!"

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

You gonna eat your pickle?

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to put a climbing wall in the exercise yard.

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

Arrows Pointing The Blame.

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'Well, it's a little intimidating. All I managed to smuggle in was a comb.'

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'