Prison Narratives Gifts

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

'If I'd known you were in for 'gaining money by deception' I would never have bought my cell off you!'

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

'How come you get the easy job?'

Tic-tac-toe

'Let's get a kitty.'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prison Wallpaper.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

In The Bastille

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

"I was making big money! Yes, an inch too big."

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

"He says he won't wear a mask."

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'