Prison Literature Gifts

'Want a cracker?'

'They reckon nobody is ever more than ten feet away from a rat.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'Let's get a kitty.'

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Sweet Jailbreak

Prison Wallpaper.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'This place is perfect for me. I was convicted of being a serial time-killer.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

Arrows Pointing The Blame.

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'Well, it's a little intimidating. All I managed to smuggle in was a comb.'

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates