Prison-related Themes Gifts

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prison Wallpaper.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Prisoner sunbathing in his cell.

'This place is perfect for me. I was convicted of being a serial time-killer.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

Arrows Pointing The Blame.

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

'Well, it's a little intimidating. All I managed to smuggle in was a comb.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'