Prison Theme Gifts

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Wow. A corner office at last

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Sweet Jailbreak

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

Prison Wallpaper.

'What are you in for?'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'This place is perfect for me. I was convicted of being a serial time-killer.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

Prison Art - Bent Screw

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

"I've sent last minute treatments to all the major studios."

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

Arrows Pointing The Blame.