Prison Theme Gifts

You gonna eat your pickle?

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'Let's get a kitty.'

Wow. A corner office at last

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

Sweet Jailbreak

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Prison Wallpaper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'What are you in for?'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

"Stay! Do not chase us! Staaay! Staaay!"

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'This place is perfect for me. I was convicted of being a serial time-killer.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to put a climbing wall in the exercise yard.

Prison Art - Bent Screw

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

Identity theft. You?

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

Arrows Pointing The Blame.

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'