Prison Lore Gifts

"No, I've only been in two years - that's how many cell mates I've had."

Visitor tries to smuggle cake-mix with file in it, into prison.

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prison Romance.

'Let's get a kitty.'

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Exhibition for Prisoners

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

Sweet Jailbreak

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Prison Wallpaper.

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'The worst case of insider trading I've ever seen.'

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

"Maximum security prison"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'I was a computer executive -- but I performed an illegal operation and was shut down.'

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

"Wanna join my hangouts circle?"

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Stay! Do not chase us! Staaay! Staaay!"

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"