Prison Novel Readers Gifts

'Hey, Fred - Got a minute?'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

"We've hit the jackpot! It's Ed Sheeran's songwriting formula."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'The close Ops surveillance people have just sent these photo's over and we now strongly suspect that Jimmy the Greek is onto us...'

"Where did you last have everything?"

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

'Omerta' sign in a Mafia library.

"Prose & Cons."

'He's my accountant.'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

Al Capone as a child

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

"I was making big money! Yes, an inch too big."

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

"He says he won't wear a mask."

Do you believe in free love?

"I was doing ok before the investigation

"Je vous laisse ma carte, si quelque chose vous reviens en memoire..."

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

'This book changed my life. I stole it.'

The Olympic torch hindered by scrap metal thefts.

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"