Prison Stories Fan Gifts

No caption. (Two jail cell inmates are seen looking at each other. One is a human, one a mouse. There are bars on the cell window and bars shown on the mouse hole).

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Sweet Jailbreak

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Prison Wallpaper.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack In the Big House

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

Preferred Prisons

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

"I was making big money! Yes, an inch too big."

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

"I was doing ok before the investigation

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'