Prison Story Fan Gifts

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Tic-tac-toe

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

Prisoner decorating his cell.

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

"No ham in this, I hope?"

A prison with a conservatory attached.

Preferred Prisons

'It's windy this morning.'

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Yes, you look stunning. Can I put the mirror down now?'

Prison decorating

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

'When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking.'