Prison Narrative Fans Gifts

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'Will you shut up with the stupid quotes from that stupid book?!!'

"I was doing ok before the investigation

"Can I still do my pilates?"

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prisoner decorating his cell.

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

Preferred Prisons

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

'It's windy this morning.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

"I was making big money! Yes, an inch too big."

Prisoner playing golf with his ball and chains.

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

'When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking.'

"He says he won't wear a mask."

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

Prison decorating

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

Identity theft. You?

'Yes, you look stunning. Can I put the mirror down now?'

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'