Prison Fiction Fan Gifts

A prison with a conservatory attached.

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Tic-tac-toe

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prisoner decorating his cell.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack In the Big House

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

'It's windy this morning.'

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Hey. You're back.'

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'

Prison decorating

Identity theft. You?

"I was making big money! Yes, an inch too big."

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

'When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking.'