Prison Tale Enthusiast Gifts

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Can you hear me now?"

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

Do you believe in free love?

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Santa visits prison.

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

No caption. (Two jail cell inmates are seen looking at each other. One is a human, one a mouse. There are bars on the cell window and bars shown on the mouse hole).

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

Werewolf Cellmate

And for sport we've got a spittoon.

'I was convicted for embezzling from a sperm bank.'

Sultry Confinement

'Why, you no-good bum! -- You just sprained my wrist!'

"How long have those two been inside?"

'Don't worry - You'll cross the pain threshold in a couple of years.'

'Well, if you ask me mate, I think you want locking up.'

"But, I don't want to call you 'Daddy'. Can't I just call you by your actual name?"

Ice-cream van supplies skyscraper of cones to reach prisoner in upstairs cell