Prison Tales Enthusiast Gifts

"No ham in this, I hope?"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Santa visits prison.

Do you believe in free love?

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

'One 10 by 8 for the wife, and a dozen postcard size for the rest of the gang...'

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

Werewolf Cellmate

'I was convicted for embezzling from a sperm bank.'

'Why, you no-good bum! -- You just sprained my wrist!'

Prison flags

Ice-cream van supplies skyscraper of cones to reach prisoner in upstairs cell

'I got twenty years for abduction, what about you?'

'Well, if you ask me mate, I think you want locking up.'

"How long have those two been inside?"

"But, I don't want to call you 'Daddy'. Can't I just call you by your actual name?"

The Birdman of Alcatraz - a guy in prison sitting on a perch with newspaper down, bird seed, a bell and mirror