Prison Tales Enthusiast Gifts

"No ham in this, I hope?"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

Do you believe in free love?

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Santa visits prison.

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

'One 10 by 8 for the wife, and a dozen postcard size for the rest of the gang...'

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

No caption. (Two jail cell inmates are seen looking at each other. One is a human, one a mouse. There are bars on the cell window and bars shown on the mouse hole).

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

'I was convicted for embezzling from a sperm bank.'

Werewolf Cellmate

'I got twenty years for abduction, what about you?'

"But, I don't want to call you 'Daddy'. Can't I just call you by your actual name?"

"How long have those two been inside?"

'Well, if you ask me mate, I think you want locking up.'

Prison flags

'Why, you no-good bum! -- You just sprained my wrist!'

Ice-cream van supplies skyscraper of cones to reach prisoner in upstairs cell