Prison Tale Enthusiast Pillows

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Can you hear me now?"

A prison with a conservatory attached.

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

Do you believe in free love?

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Santa visits prison.

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

Werewolf Cellmate

Sultry Confinement

'I was convicted for embezzling from a sperm bank.'

And for sport we've got a spittoon.

Ice-cream van supplies skyscraper of cones to reach prisoner in upstairs cell

"But, I don't want to call you 'Daddy'. Can't I just call you by your actual name?"

'I got twenty years for abduction, what about you?'

Prison flags

'Well, if you ask me mate, I think you want locking up.'

"How long have those two been inside?"

'Don't worry - You'll cross the pain threshold in a couple of years.'