Prison Story Lover Pillows

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

Tic-tac-toe

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Ice-cream van supplies skyscraper of cones to reach prisoner in upstairs cell

Prison Romance.

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'He didn't wash his hands.'

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

"Try and give me... happy."

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Do you believe in free love?

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

"Neato, keeno - bunk beds!"

"I buried three husbands. . .problem was, two of them were only napping."

'You've got to get me out of here... my cellmate just gave me flowers and candy.'

Dear Edward, here is the cake in the file that you wanted. Love, Sue.

No caption. (Two jail cell inmates are seen looking at each other. One is a human, one a mouse. There are bars on the cell window and bars shown on the mouse hole).

'Excuse me sir, What year is it'

"For me, a confessions is much too autobiographical."

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

"I couldn’t get a date on the outside and now I’m swamped with marriage proposals!"

'Count yourself lucky - he used to SHOOT the messenger.'

Prisoner wins a world cruise holiday.

I blame it on the system. On my last stretch I did a computer course, and now I'm in for computer fraud.

'Well, if you ask me mate, I think you want locking up.'