Prison-themed Story Fan Gifts

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

Prisoner decorating his cell.

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

"No ham in this, I hope?"

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'It's windy this morning.'

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'

Prison decorating

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'I mean it... you look good in a beard!'

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

"He says he won't wear a mask."

'Yes, you look stunning. Can I put the mirror down now?'

'When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking.'