Prison-themed Comedy Fan Gifts

'It's permanently tuned to the weather channel. We can't risk having you watch escapists' programs.'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'Let's get a kitty.'

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Prisoner decorating his cell.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack In the Big House

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'It's windy this morning.'

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

You gonna eat your pickle?

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

A prison with a conservatory attached.

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Hey. You're back.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Jackie Chan caught you? Now, that's a coincidence - Charlie Chan caught me!'