Prison Drama Fan Gifts

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'I'd eventually like to pursue a career in some kind of meaningful social work, once I get a handle on this homicidal mania thing.'

"I couldn't find a nail file, like you asked, so I brought you some nail polish and lip gloss instead."

"I didn't know it was illegal to plagiarize and alibi"

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

"This doesn't look like the bank."

'Nah, that ain't how many years I got left. That's how many cellmates I put in the hospital for stepping on my fingers while climbin' into the upper bunk.'

"Yes, Frank, yes. That's how my body will fall when you kill me, and your laughter will echo down the corridors..."

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

In hindsight Rex wished he'd asked exactly how the goods were being smuggled.

'I don't like it either, but it was either this or a 50-stroke penalty.'

'It's windy this morning.'

The last

'They got me for stealing identities.'

Prison Library: Do Not Press The Escape Key On Prison Computers.

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Good news, the breakout's on tonight!"

'When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking.'

Identity thieves in jail.

'Yes, you look stunning. Can I put the mirror down now?'

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

'40 isn't as bad as it sounds with 40 being the new 30 and all.'

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

Prison decorating

Prisoner decorating his cell.

Identity theft. You?

"Ever walk into a room and forget why you're there?"

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

"Sometimes it seems there just aren't enough hours in the day."

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."