Prison Tv Show Fan Gifts

"You're doing 20-to-life. What do you mean you haven't got time to floss?"

'I may be in prison, but on the inside I'm free!' 'Forgot your underwear again?'

"For God's sake man, give it a break. You were an accountant!"

"Can I still do my pilates?"

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'Yes, Frank, yes. That's how my body will fall when you kill me, and your laughter will echo down the corridors...'

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

'I said there is a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E!'

Prisoner decorating his cell.

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

'It's windy this morning.'

Preferred Prisons

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Hey. You're back.'

'So, how was your day?'

Prisoner playing golf with his ball and chains.

'When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking.'

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

Prison decorating

Identity theft. You?

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."