Prison Comedy Fan Gifts

"You must be the new guy!"

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

Prison Librarian

"Have you been here long?"

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'Let's get a kitty.'

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Prisoner decorating his cell.

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

'It's windy this morning.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."