Prison Comedy Fans Gifts

It was a stupid idea to steal candy from the snack machine. I should have never got you involved.

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Hey. You're back.'

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

Exercise yard: 'It's windy this morning!' (Arrows on uniform all blowing away).

'Sorry, but none of our entrees are available for takeout.'

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

'So, how was your day?'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

"Each time I was told to put myself in another man's shoes, I walk away in 'em."

'Juries have never liked me.'

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

When Financial Planners Go To Prison.

'Just like being in the Post Office!'

'This wine is made from fermented raisins by convicts in the state penitentiary...'

Term Life Insurance