Prison Comedy Fans Pillows

It was a stupid idea to steal candy from the snack machine. I should have never got you involved.

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

'Hey. You're back.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

'Jackie Chan caught you? Now, that's a coincidence - Charlie Chan caught me!'

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

'Sorry, but none of our entrees are available for takeout.'

'So, how was your day?'

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

All I'm saying is, the next time you go for a perp walk, I'd like to be included.

Exercise yard: 'It's windy this morning!' (Arrows on uniform all blowing away).

"Each time I was told to put myself in another man's shoes, I walk away in 'em."

'Juries have never liked me.'

When Financial Planners Go To Prison.

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

'Just like being in the Post Office!'

'Want a cracker?'