Prison Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'

"We live in a cell. Why can't we have a cellphone?"

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'Hey. You're back.'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

"Any word on my appeal?"

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

'So, how was your day?'

'I love what they've done with the place. It looks so modern!'

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."