Prison Humor Aficionados Pillows

'Hey, do mind swinging by my place to pick up my jail-jammies?'

'Let's get a kitty.'

Conjugal visitors only!

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Hey. You're back.'

"I know it's my turn, but please continue."

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

I don

'There's a rumour we're all going to be released and forced to join the NFL.'

All I'm saying is, the next time you go for a perp walk, I'd like to be included.